Dealing With Life After Your Business Ends
The other day I had coffee with Dominique Love, the founder of Atlanta Food and Wine. (I can’t tell you where because it’s my favorite place and very few people realize that they can go there for coffee and to work. I’ve selfishly decided that I won’t ruin this magical haven of mine.)
Anyway, Dominique and I couldn’t be more different on paper…But what we share (outside of a love of food and beverage) is navigating the grueling process of discovering ourselves after leaving our business.
Sometimes it’s trying to figure out what comes next. Or deciding if there is even a next. Cloaked with equal parts fear and trauma, trying to relearn one’s identity after the end of a business is not something that ends up being discussed often.
Here’s what I was dealing with in the aftermath:
Stress. Or rather, the lack of it. The lack of stress feels overwhelming. I find myself being scared of not being stressed. I didn’t realize how stressed I was. Without it, I feel uncomfortable.
The future. Every time I come in contact with someone, I’m asked, “What’s next?” My answer is, “The hell if I know.” I have ideas of what I’d like to achieve, but I don’t know if I’m ready. Part of me (I think it’s my ego) feels like I have to do something entrepreneurial and the other part wants absolutely nothing to do with that. So I sit and wait. I’ve gotten much more comfortable with the waiting even if the question still sends my thoughts into a tailspin.
Failure. No matter how happy I am and content with my decision, a little part of me still goes, “But you know you failed, right?” I know it’s not a very rational thought and eventually, I’m able to kick it away. But sometimes I have to sit with trying to figure out what more I could have done or if people look at me like I have somehow failed. This has mostly gone away, especially because of the circumstances that made me decide that it was time to go. For the first few months, while the thought was stronger, I kept myself busy to bury it.
Loneliness. My work was very social which meant that my life was very social. I still hang out. But while I know a lot of people in this city, I realize how few friends I have. I’m introverted so this isn’t a huge problem for me, but sometimes I feel it. The other part of the loneliness is having so few people that can relate to the sea of emotions that I’m feeling.
I’m a year and a half removed from the closing of Studio No. 7 and life, in general, does feel great. I’m pretty sure I’m on the other side of all of these emotions even if I still can’t figure out what’s next just yet.